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Bullying and the Orthodox Church

March 17, 2013

Slipping is a play about bullying that I saw not too long ago at the Studio 620 playhouse in St. Petersburg, Florida. The work by Daniel Talbot is specifically about bullying gay teenagers.  The story revolves around Eli, a high school senior who must carefully walk through the minefield that is being a gay teenager in a public school in Iowa.  The play examines the very tragic issue of bullying, which unfortunately occurs at every level of society to one degree or another, but is almost pandemic in middle and high schools across the country.  I do not know if the playwright intended it or not, but I actually saw three different types of bullying taking place in the story. 

The first is a type of self bullying that Eli and regrettably almost every other gay person goes through.  It is hard enough being a teenager without the added pressure of realizing that you are different from almost everyone else. Society constantly tells gay people that they should be straight and we know that we are not. And so, many young people beat themselves up to varying degrees, vacillating between trying to change who they are and self acceptance. Hopefully they will hear the current message being broadcast to them that “it gets better.”

The second type of bullying that Eli must endure comes from his secret boyfriend who does not want to be seen or known as gay and so he takes his insecurities out on his off-and-on boyfriend, Eli. In private moments, the boyfriend is kind and sweet with Eli. In public he ignores him, especially at school, so as not to be labeled as gay.

Finally, Eli must suffer what most gay teenagers go through, bullying at his high school from students who verbally and even physically abuse him. He also suffers at the hands of teachers and administrators who ignore bullying in schools, who by their silence in general, and bullying against LGBTQ students in particular, grant their tacit approval to the bullying.  

The Orthodox Church is also guilty of verbally bullying its LGBT communicants. Because of the Church’s “official” message on homosexuality, LGBT Orthodox Christians are often forced to be their own worst enemies, loathing and bullying themselves.  We are also bullied by shepherds of the Church, individual bishops, priests as well as laymen in positions of authority.  At best the bullying comes from bishops who issue painful statements on homosexuality and worst the bullying takes place in the confessional. Personally I have experienced such bullying while going to confession, to a priest who did not know me.  I can only imagine that this sad and traumatic occurrence has happened to other LGBT Orthodox Christians. The Church as a whole bullies through its messages of either hatred of LGBT Christians or from the silence of straight brothers and sisters. As an example, these are the recent words of a bishop of the Serbian Orthodox Church, homosexuals are “people who have consciously chosen the path of moral and spiritual death instead of the path of life.” (Metropolitan Amfilohije of Montenegro) What gay person has consciously chosen to be gay, to be persecuted, to be ridiculed, to be ostracized from the parents that gave them life, from the friends who have sustained them from the Church that nurtured them?

Bullying is an “aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power.” (Wikipedia) As an Orthodox Christian who wants to serve Christ and His Church to best of his ability I, like many gay Orthodox Christians, was and am bullied on a regular basis. From the frequent articles that appear in the official Orthodox press and online websites of various jurisdictions giving “the official Orthodox view on homosexuality” to the recurrent epistles of the various Synods who denounce “immorality” in society, frequently pointing to gay people and their “demands for equality” as one of the major causes for the current “wickedness of humanity”.  These are methods of intimidation which are only one form of bullying and nothing more than bashing Orthodox Christians who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.

Perhaps the most devastating form of the bullying of LGBT people in the Church comes from the individual bishops and priests who are ordained to serve and comfort the flock of Christ.  In sermons, confessions, counseling sessions and even casual conversations one can find numerous examples of coercion, intimidation and the spiritual persecution of gay people for simply being who God Created us to be. Just as egregious is the silence by those members of the clergy on this topic.  Certainly by their silence on the bullying, the clergy of the Church willingly assume the role of “lieutenants who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully” in their actions. (Wikipedia) The hierarchy of the Church have a say in either stopping the bullying or remaining silent.  Their silence constitutes approval.